Q: I enjoy sex, but how can I tell if I'm really having an orgasm? I'm just not sure if I'm experiencing the ear-shattering type of orgasm that everyone talks about.
— Kristine, Washington
A: Many people feel confused or intimidated by the images of sexuality they see on television or at the movies. The truth is that real sex looks nothing like the sex you see on the big-screen, just as real relationships are often nothing like the relationships you see on the big-screen. Don’t let these false images of love and sex take over your perception of how you “should” feel during sex or how your orgasms should feel. However, if you aren’t certain that you have reached orgasm yet, than chances are you probably haven’t. Though every woman experiences orgasms in her own way, an orgasm feels like an intense and pleasurable release. You might feel the sensation only in your genitals, or you might feel it extend down your legs.
Take some time to explore your body on your own through self-stimulation. Once you know how to achieve orgasm on your own, it will be easier to show your partner how to do so. By stimulating your clitoris, either manually or with a toy, you should be able to reach orgasm — and when you do, you know for once and for all what one feels like!
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